I have many mixed emotions but I stop and remind myself that life is constantly cycling through strange fluid cycles of change and that this is all normal; and although it makes me anxious, I’m aware that it does, and I can say, “Hush, anxiety! You are dramatizing what is a natural cycle of life,” and I say it is normal to feel a tinge of sadness in the background of everything I do after a moment of separation like the one I just experienced, after saying goodbye for a long time.
this is me letting go of my anxious childhood; rewiring my perspective; challenging my conditioned responses
but the more you realize how much you have, the more you realize how much you have to lose
Visiting one’s childhood home can provoke feelings of comfort, nostalgia, and creepiness all at once, as if the ghosts of your younger selves are still living there in the walls.
From tiny children to curious elementary school kids to love-smitten middle schoolers to angsty, angry teenagers,
We are wonders. Human life is quite a wonder.
When I was younger, I never thought I would grow up and look back on those past selves and cringe a little with regret but also brim with understanding and love.
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and live my life from the perspective that I have now.
With development inevitably comes tragedy.
Humanity progressed from using flint to create fire and sustain life
To using weapons to create war and harm.
Technology has incited innovation and
The unfurling of ideas and
A renewed ability to learn, but
Isolates us from our fellow man.
Space exploration quenches our curiosity about our universe but
Could expose unforeseen enigmas,
Like the idea that we are not alone in our world,
Or perhaps even more frightening,
That we are, indeed, alone.
Novelty and enjoyment wears off in relationships
To reveal whether two people can effectively entwine their lives
Through attempts to unite utterly unique understandings of existence.
This is the character of the human experience:
You cannot have joy without pain,
Or growth without injury,
Or love without heartache.
Maybe it’s not until we accept these ideas
That we can truly find repose.
Maybe I don’t write enough about important stuff. Maybe I like to write about dumb feelings. Maybe I should try to change the world through my art, but this world is tired and old and doesn’t want to listen, won’t listen to a speck like me.
I have a lot of feelings, and sometimes even thoughts.
I would like to spew them.